I was forced to look at some of my repressed shadows and realized that I have been doing what I perceived in others, i.e. to use romantic relationship fantasies as a distraction from my internal healing journey.
After more than a decade. I decided to call my ex-girlfriend to clear up all the negative trauma from our breakup.
Just when I thought I mastered a challenge, the universe punched me in the face again, as if I shall be broken down and reassembled entirely.
I felt so overwhelmed with all of my old, unhandled issues coming back up. I almost could not bear it. But this time I decided to face them with courage and determination.