When will this madness end?

As the situation around the world only keeps escalating with Draconian health measures and oppressive police states, I find myself trapped in a seemingly futile position with regards to my higher mission to help revealing corruption in this project here in South America. I was overcome by massive doubts if it all is worth it and if this mission is not too dangerous. Should I simply quit because it all is to no avail? After a difficult period of doubt and a lot of soul searching, I received the confirmation to stand strong with fortitude and perseverance. We are close, this is the final challenge before it all comes crashing down.

Big political Machiavallian moves

The project director, who has been running a duplicitous Machiavellian scheme contrary to the interest of the founders, has achieved a very prestigious win in the political landscape. He managed to publicly get the support of one of the most influential political figures in this country. I don’t want to go into details but this political figure made a visit to this project, held a speech in front of almost 500 employees and some of the investors, accompanied by several national media outlets. He publicly underlined his support for this project because it offers a lot of job opportunities in one of the most impoverished and left-behind regions of the country. Both the director and the politician reaffirmed that this project needs to succeed and prosper to act as an effective tool to eradicate poverty by giving especially young people great job opportunities. The long-term ambitious goal of creating a small city with 20 000 inhabitants, mostly immigrants from Europe, will keep providing many job opportunities in a region where many young people left because the situation was hopeless. The director also held a speech and he confirmed the politician’s points and added that we have state-of-the-art high-tech equipment for the construction of houses, which is unique in South America. In the next sentence, he highlighted how proud he is that the vast majority of employees are local people from this region, i.e. that very few Europeans or other nationalities are working here.

Obviously, that is a glaring contradiction, as the education level in this region is really low and it certainly will not be possible to successfully manage high-tech projects with only local people. It is a fact that many lack the education as well as the systematic thinking to operate this sophisticated level of high-tech equipment. Yet to reach the ambitious visions of the project founders, it is necessary to heavily rely on innovation in various areas, e.g. construction, technology, health, agriculture, etc. Needless to say that the purpose of this event was not to present a logical cohesive vision. Instead, it was a political event to broadcast a message: This project is indispensable due to its social responsibility for the region and should receive all the support it needs. And this support might be what is necessary because the project director has been vehemently blocked by the local government of this region. While the director has had substantial support from the national government, the local government and municipality have been attacking him constantly and blocking certain efforts, especially the construction of an asphalt road from the next town to this community. This asphalt road for example has been planned for years yet it was always delayed. It really is an important factor as the current dirt road often is in really poor conditions and is unusable during heavy rainfalls.

The local government most likely has its own problems with grave corruption, which is quite common in this country. On so many levels, there is an abuse of the political mandates for personal gains as well as a limiting system of nepotism. It is not rare that politicians in power only serve their own friends and benefactors instead of focusing on improving the quality of public services. If it was not so sad it would be hilarious how poorly managed public companies are due to the omnipresence of political corruption. In contrast, many of the private corporations are highly efficient and customer-oriented, on a par with international standards. Nevertheless, the project director never had good relations with the governor and even got into open political conflicts. Last year, the governor declared the project director a “persona non grata” in this city, declaring that he is unwanted here. As a consequence, the director and the founders published a video where they countered this declaration with their own accusations of corruption against the city governor. They stated how they take a stand for the truth and against corruption in this country. In this video, the founders also reaffirmed their unconditional support for the project director and they stated that he is their only source of trusted information about the political occurrences in this country. As I watched the video, I heavily cringed at the naivety of the founders and how they are instrumentalized by the director for his own hidden Machiavellian agenda. As stated earlier, the director is a politician himself and plays with the same lower consciousness tools of deception and manipulation as do his opponents. He acts according to the Machiavellian playbook and his main mantra is “the ends justify the means”. For the director, everything is always about gaining and maintaining his power, no matter what. As his political opponent, he does not care about the truth or higher principles, even though he keeps up a Christian facade of being a righteous savior of the poor and disadvantaged.

It is a very slippery slope, a highly delicate situation. The main problem is that the director will never be able to credibly take a stand against corruption because his own illicit deeds are well known amongst the populace in this region. It is an open secret that he is playing with very dark consciousnesses to maintain his power and there are many people who were at the receiving end of his power plays and who are harbor resentment and a thirst for vengeance against the director. Even many of the investors know the truth or at least have certain suspicions that the director is not as clean as he pretends to be. Thus it is almost comical how the project founders are refusing to even consider the possibility that the director might be following his own interests instead of their higher vision. A good analogy would be that there is an ever-growing heap of stinking dirty laundry piling up in the vicinity of the director but the founders do everything in their power to rationalize it away. That said, it is only a matter of time before it all will come out because at some point the evidence cannot be ignored anymore, even by the founders who are so disconnected from reality. And now that we have the public support of some of the most influential politicians of this country, we might be “too big to fail”. In the past, many projects similar to this one have dramatically failed because the European immigrants were regarded as cash cows and being misled by empty promises and criminal trickery. But this project now has reached a size where a failure is not acceptable as it would ruin the image of this country as a destination for immigration. And of course, it would kill those job opportunities for local people and be a dramatic setback for the development of this impoverished region.

So how will this situation develop? Of course, it is impossible to give accurate predictions. As always, the universe will do everything to create better outcomes and to soften the blow of the eventual collapse. It also depends on the free-will decisions of all people involved, especially the project founders and their willingness to face the ugly truth, i.e. that they have been played like puppets on a string for years. The situation might draw out for a while longer but I still feel that we are within weeks of a collapse or the “rupture” as my Christian friends like to say. And yes, according to the inflowing energies this rupture will all happen simultaneously around the globe, without exceptions. In other words, at some point in the near future, everything dark, twisted and perverted will be exposed in the higher light of God and the people will see it. There will be no hiding anymore and the truth will be standing tall and strong, like a lion, and eventually be victorious. With regards to the future of this project, in particular, the director’s schemes will be exposed and there will be a massive outcry amongst the investors. Initially, there will be a lot of chaos and confusion but this presents important opportunities to establish better structures, i.e. by replacing the loyal yet incompetent employees of the director with the best experts this country has to offer. Simultaneously, instead of considering the European investors as docile cash cows who need to be entertained and tranquilized, their vast potential and expertise will be able to be utilized for the first time ever. In the past, the director has kicked out many talented European employees as they started connecting the dots and became too dangerous for him. However painful it will be to acknowledge the ugly truth, at least we can start building the project on a solid foundation so that it can prosper with explosive growth. I foresee a bright future of flourishing economic opportunities after we have crossed the steep valley of tears.

A feeling of futility and doubt

I personally felt really, really demotivated and hopeless for the last weeks. For months now, I was aware of the true face of the director and I tried to advance on my mission to slowly lead the project founders to the truth about him. Due to my advances against the director, he has now realized how much I know and that I am a real danger to his power position, especially because I am so close to the founders so his usual strategies to make up false evidence against me has proven ineffective. So far, I could not reach a decisive win in this battle, instead, I seem stuck in a draw and a temporary ceasefire. While the founders are now keenly aware that there are grave problems in the administration, especially in accounting and the purchase departments, they attribute those problems to a few bad apples in the director’s team. Still, the founders almost frantically repeat the mantra that the director does not know anything about those corrupt schemes. It is as if the founders need to be convincing themselves, to keep their worldview intact because they know that the leadership would collapse if the director would have something to do with those suspicions. Thus, the situation seems to be tediously stuck and it is very difficult for me personally because I am so exhausted. From my perspective, the whole situation seems to be dragging along like old stuck chewing gum.

To be honest, I am absolutely sick of it all. I am sick of all the fighting against those corrupt schemes, lies and deceptions. I am sick of the founder’s unconscious tolerance of evil, which only enables it. I am sick of the gullible masses in general who seek evil on the outside, projecting their own shadows, instead of facing the darkness within. I am sick of needing to fight and defend myself against Machiavellian schemes. I am sick of the illusion. Honestly, I would prefer to have a rupture of the illusion and chaos over this almost endlessly dragged-on torture. I feel so much weight on my shoulders as I carry the burden of this awareness about the situation but my hands are tied. There are higher factors at play deciding the timing of when the collapse will occur and I need to get in line to patiently wait my turn. In fact, my body has stopped me from acting several times in the last three weeks as I got sick again. I wanted to proceed with my mission to expose the corrupt schemes but I now am aware that I needed to wait for the grand event of the politician coming to this community.

Furthermore, I met an old friend two weeks ago and told him about what I am going through and this mission. He listened carefully and honored my efforts and courage. But a few days ago, he called me and strongly advised me to stop what I am doing because it would be too dangerous. He said that I am playing with a very dangerous fire and many other people in this country were wrongfully incarcerated with false allegations or simply “disappeared”. And he has a point as there is so much money involved in this project and there are very powerful political figures who profit from this massive influx of foreign capital. However, my friend’s motivation to warn me was not only selfless as he fears for his own life and position. He told me that I should delete all chat messages where I mentioned the project and that he does not want to have contact with me anymore if I decide to continue this mission. His appeal went under my skin and I sincerely started to doubt it all. Is it really worth it? Why should I continue this madness? Many other people before have warned me not to do anything against the director and just quietly leave the project. After all, I could just find a nice girlfriend, get a calm property in the mountains and tend a herbal garden. At least that was what my friend suggested. Yet, deep within my soul, I sense a strong knowingness that this is not what I am here for. I am NOT here to take the easy route. I am NOT here to live a comfortable life full of sensual pleasures. I am NOT here to be compliant and to turn a blind eye to tyranny and corruption.

That being said, my friend has a point and his warning is a good reminder that the situation in fact is quite dangerous. So it is even more important to listen to my divine guidance and to follow the higher plan in full surrender. I felt a strong temptation to “take shortcuts” by egoically trying to accelerate the termination of my mission. I thought to myself “let’s get it over with” so that I can finally start building something new after the collapse. This, however, is not how it works. I need to accept that the process takes a long time and is very strenuous. There are no egoic shortcuts. Every attempt to do so would create unnecessary danger and jeopardize the mission. The longer the situation drags on, the more thorough the energetic clearings and the softer the eventual impact will be. Another big topic for me is the desire to have a loving relationship with a compatible partner, in a divine union representing yin and yang. I now understand too that I cannot rush this union. Even though I would have liked to take shortcuts, I got tough lessons to surrender to the divine timing of it all. It will all unfold when the time is right. For the moment, as this mission goes on, I cannot have a romantic partner. I must be single and without ties so that I do not present attack vectors to the opposing team, as well as to not fall for distractions.

The final challenge before the finish line

In my state of doubt and hopelessness, I asked a friend for advice and she was laying Tarot cards which provided very interesting insights. The Tarot card 9 of wands popped up which has the following description:

The Nine of Wands shows an injured man, clutching a wand. He looks over his shoulder towards the eight wands that loom over him. He seems weary and worn, as though he has already been through a battle and now must face additional challenges with the presence of these eight wands. As a Nine, though, this is his final challenge before reaching his goal; he must endure this last test of his strength and character before reaching the finish line.

https://www.biddytarot.com/tarot-card-meanings/minor-arcana/suit-of-wands/nine-of-wands/

As I read the description, it resonated very strongly within me. I realized that this is the final challenge now and that I am close to the completion of this mission. This situation really is an extreme test for my spirit and I am challenged to the absolute limits of what I can bear. But, my soul has the strength to master this and I just need to cut through the illusions and remember the power that lies within myself. As I was pondering this difficult and seemingly futile situation, the words fortitude and perseverance popped into my mind. I knew that I cannot give up now. I need to keep going because we are close, really close.

What is also a very interesting coincidence is that I was browsing Youtube and video clips from the TV series Spartacus were popping up frequently. Spartacus was Gladiator in ancient Rome who led a rebellion with other slaves and eventually formed an army that had some decisive victories against Roman legions. The story of Spartacus is an inspiration to those who seek to revolt against tyrannical rulers. Many consider Spartacus a courageous leader who faced tremendous odds with great success. I started watching those video clips about Spartacus and the whole story intensely resonated. Of course, the message was clear: Don’t give up now, you can succeed even against those heavy odds. The month of September has been predominantly a month of inner work for me, as I was faced with many difficult shadows, especially with regards to romantic relationships. There was not much movement in terms of the mission. Well, I have a subtle intuition that this might change soon… We shall see.