The worst virus is fear, the antidote unconditional love
I am still living in a small community of mostly Europeans in rural South America. As outlined before, there have been many crises leading to breaking points of this community:
Over almost 4 years of existence, the community has gone through regular “cycles” like in a drama play. Those cycles always have many similarities: At first new people arrive from Europe with their rose-colored glasses and exaggerated expectations, so everything is great in the first weeks. Then, many of them start to get bored and get used to their new reality, thus noticing many flaws and problems in their new home. After all, while enjoying unscathed nature and the excitement of a new culture, many things just don’t work out well in South America compared to Europe. It still is a developing country and many of the used civilizational luxuries just don’t exist!
Additionally, as the new arrivals have left the hamster wheel in Europe and now have a lot of time to self-reflect, many repressed issues are bubbling up to the surface. Unfortunately, most people haven’t learned and are unwilling to face those issues internally and start projecting it onto others around them especially onto the leadership of the project.
To make matters worse, the project leadership itself is unable to look inwards and they are trying to solve all crises externally, by not assuming responsibility and shifting the blame outwards onto others.
The perfect storm
On Thursday, December 30th of last year, suddenly the internet did not work in the entire community. After a very rough night of sleep, I woke up to investigate the problem, yet I already had a very negative gut feeling. I was opening an equipment case and inspected a network switch: All its LEDs were erratically blinking like a Christmas tree! I was shocked to the core, something had destroyed this device. What other devices were destroyed? Do we have enough replacement parts? And this was just one night before New Year’s Eve, where most investors urgently needed a good internet connection to talk with friends and family back in Europe! What an utter nightmare!
We proceeded to check various other network switches and 3 others were also destroyed! Very nervously, I went into our main server room to check if the core network router (the central control unit of our whole network infrastructure, connected to the external internet provider) was damaged as well. When I checked the device, I could not believe my eyes! The central router was half-destroyed: It has two internal chipsets, each one of them controlling half of the devices’ ports. Apparently, the left chipset was intact and functioning normally while the right chipset was destroyed. I have rarely seen something strange like this.
It gets even better though: The external provider’s modem was the only device completely unaffected, continuing to function perfectly. As it turned out, we had just enough replacement parts in storage to replace all affected devices. The only part which we did not have was the provider’s modem! That said, we were able to replace all of the equipment and restore the network’s configuration within the next hours. It certainly was the most stressful day of last year but at mid-day, the internet worked flawlessly again as if nothing had ever happened.
As it turned out, the reason for this cascading device failure was a lightning strike the night before (on Thursday of course..) which allegedly hit outside of the entrance but first propagated through the powerlines and then through the network cabling. As we did not have installed overvoltage protection on the network connections, the high voltage spike could jump from one device to the other, destroying them in the process until weakening in intensity. However, to this day, there is no logical explication as to why this highly selective damage was caused to only the devices we had in storage, so we could replace everything so quickly. Last but not least, I am still puzzled that only the right half of our central core router was destroyed while the left half was functioning perfectly. I guess some things are not to be grasped with logic alone, there are other forces at work here and this was a very strong statement…
Reliving the collapse of a civilization
Coincidentally with the official beginning of the Age of Aquarius in late December, a massive dramatic climax was in the offing within this community. A dozen of investors had been working on building their own homes with a very specific building technique uncommon in this region here. Most of them are very open-minded free spirits who just want to do their thing and be left alone with it. Unfortunately, the project founders did not agree entirely with their plans and started to involve themselves in their project. In the weeks before, there were a number of misunderstandings, conflicts, and disputes. Both parties were escalating the situation and trying to “fight” the other side by convincing others to join them against the other party. While at first, the situation was quite sensible and there were many valid points to clarify, the leadership’s unwillingness to do internal work and face their own emotional shadows and traumas prevented a solution at eye level where all parties find common ground. What the leadership instead did was to go in the offense and start singling out certain individuals of the investors to blame them for “spreading bad mood”. The leadership even applied “divide and conquer” tactics by having a meeting with only one-third of the investors where they tried to bring them on their side, as they were “the most trusted investors”. This further fueled the flames of discontent and all those investors not invited to this meeting were enraged, furious and wanted retribution. From this point on, the whole situation escalated further in a mutual downward spiral.
While the leadership does have good intentions, great vision for the project and sacrificed so much to get it to this point but they have so many unresolved fears which they constantly project onto other people. The same thing is also true for the majority of investors, unfortunately. For example, many elementary fears were triggered, like the fear of existential loss, being expelled from society, and simply the fear of cardinal punishment. Of course, it is totally irrational to fear being executed for speaking your personal truth to authority but everything which happened here has nothing to do with this current time. At one point, I personally felt strong anxiety when I openly criticized the leadership. A couple of days later, I woke up and my whole neck was sore and twisted – it was as if a noose was put around my neck for execution. It occurred to me that my body is using this current drama to replay very dark traumas from past lives to be able to finally clear them. I mean, in two shamanic sessions I could recall memories from two executions (in Ancient Egypt and Middle Age Germany) where I also spoke out against authorities and was involved in worldly power struggles. I can only speculate how often I had been executed, but I guess dozens if not hundreds of times.
This whole situation brought up certain visions and sensations inside of me of a civilizational collapse. I saw a group of people leaving burning cities and fleeing into the desert. Uncannily, it reminded me of the collapse of Ancient Egypt and the exodus of the Hebrews, led by Moses through the desert to find and found their new homeland. I feel that there are still many unprocessed traumas from that era that were finally cleared, at least partially. I still have a strong intuition, that the project leadership played a strong part in the events of Ancient Egypt, as I myself got vivid visions from this era. I am pretty sure that everything happening right now, regardless of how painful it is, is for a higher purpose to resolve our old traumatic entanglements, resembling a dense, dark spiderweb of negativity. Reliving these events on an energetic level would allow us to clear individual stuck traumatic energetic patterns, cut them out and transmute them, thus also liberating all parties involved from this. The more traumatic strings are resolved, the easier it is to cut off the remaining ones.
In hindsight, I had the opportunity to experience firsthand how civilizations collapse. It always goes hand in hand with a loss of our divine connection through ourselves internally. We start to get caught up in external power struggles and project our own unprocessed fears onto the other parties involved, blaming them for everything instead of facing our own wounds and healing them. I have to admit, I myself got caught up in the beginnings of this downward spiral but my body jolted me out of this by becoming really, really sick…
Experiencing disease, starvation and inhumane treatment
In the middle of all of this upheaval in the community, I got gravely sick. I could not eat for more than a week, had a severe headache and felt very weak. My whole stomach area was hurting, it was as if I had to throw up constantly but could not do it. I can’t remember when I felt worse in this lifetime. One morning, I asked the people here for help and they brought me to a private hospital in the next city. Initially, I feared that they had to do an appendix surgery but after some tests, they, said this was not necessary, fortunately. They told me it is some kind of infection that affects a large area of my stomach and intestines and they put me in a bed to stay there for a night, giving me antibiotics and infusions.
Being in a developing country, I had severe concerns about the quality of medical treatment. But I was pleasantly surprised by this private clinic. Of course, it was not that cheap but they had excellent doctors, modern equipment and were looking out really well after their patients. In fact, all of the doctors and nurses lovingly cared for me, especially because I stayed there alone and did not have anyone with me. They all looked after me, supported me emotionally and even made some jokes with me. Moreover, they also spoke slowly with me so I could understand those complex topics in Spanish and actually decide about certain details of the treatment myself. I felt safe and well taken care of and could immediately relax. Just 3 hours after I got the antibiotics, the pain started to subside and my digestion started to normalize. In the evening, I even could eat something without any problems! After a good night’s sleep, I felt much better, stronger and with more appetite.
Unfortunately, they were obliged to do a COVID test with me, which could only be done in the public hospital at the other end of the city. So the doctor and a nurse accompanied me to the hospital where I needed to take the COVID test. Upon arrival, I instantly felt very unwell at this place, everything was really dirty and run down, the people there seemed stressed and lethargic. They called my name, so I went to a glass window where gloves were sticking out like in a high-security biological laboratory. I saw a woman appearing on the other side, but she did not say anything, she just shoved me a cotton swab so deep into my nose that it felt like she would pierce into my brain. I felt treated like cattle in a large factory.
Things turned from bad to worse, as the COVID test showed a positive result. Everyone suddenly seemed to be really on the edge and anxious, telling me to go inside the COVID treatment area of the public hospital. You guessed it, only this public hospital is allowed to treat COVID-infected patients. I was brought into a room that looked like the hospital scene in the movie Resident Evil: It was dirty, part of the wall was falling off and burned electrical wires were hanging out of the ceiling. The nurses also looked strange, they wore a large robe, gloves and two surgical masks on top of each other plus a large plastic face shield (similar to what they were in those steel processing factories). Needless to say, I could not understand anything which they were saying as they also spoke very fast and did not make any effort to speak slower. Even though I was highly irritated, I stayed calm and assertive during the entire situation. At one point, I recognized pure terror and fear in the eyes of the nurses. At one point, I was just slightly adjusting my mask and the nurse anxiously turned back from me in fear. I told them that I don’t think my stomach problems have anything to do with COVID but a female doctor approached and started to “lecture” me how all of my systems can perfectly be explained by COVID, even though only very few patients show them. The doctor proudly announced that she is “an expert” on COVID. I decided to not say anything.
Another young female doctor came and they started to discuss what they can do with me. Apparently, I was a very unusual case for them and they did not like my attitude and the fact that I neither showed fear nor submission to them. I did not understand much what they said to each other, so I asked them to speak slower. They rudely asked me what I am doing in their country and why I don’t speak Spanish. I told them that I understand it if they spoke more slowly and clearly. They just ignored my comment. Fortunately, the doctor from the private hospital was there also and she slowly explained everything. They asked me to do an MRI scan of my lungs to see if there are problems. I doubted that feeling fine but agreed to get it over with. They put me in an ambulance and drove me 50 kilometers to the next big city to do the MRI scan. This too turned out to be a very unpleasant experience. The ambulance drivers were very rude and appeared to gave orders to me instead of talking to me like a human being. The MRI scan was quickly done but then the ambulance driver requested the payment in cash, so he would give it to the clinic. I instantly had a bad gut feeling and politely demanded to get an invoice from the hospital in my name. The driver started acting very weirdly as if he did not understand what I was saying. After repeating myself several times, he went to get me an invoice – which actually was about 15 dollars lower than the amount he collected from me. So again, they wanted to rip me off like cattle on a dairy farm.
After the right back to the public hospital, the doctors analyzed my MRI scan but said there are no problems and that my lungs are perfectly fine. I was not surprised at all but so happy that this would soon be over. They gave me some prescription drugs and send me off back home, to complete a 14-day quarantine in my apartment. I was so relieved to finally get out of there! Of course, all of these events are not a coincidence. So many valuable insights stem from this experience. First of all, during two days, I collected the first-hand experience of the best and the worst aspects of the health system in this country. I also experienced the stark contrast between being treated with fear and with love. In the private hospital, they treated me with love, compassion and kindness while in the public hospital I only faced fear, anxiety, doubt along with inhumane treatment. Furthermore, I received short glimpses that it has karmic aspects so that I can experience suffering which I had inflicted onto others in the past to finally clear it and break this cycle. I also had strange intuition that this connects to some heavy past trauma of starvation.
Regardless of how dangerous the COVID virus is, I am now sure that the worst virus of all is: Fear. Fear drops our frequency so that we lose our divine connection and so that we only look for external solutions which will condemn us to repeat the same endless cycles forever and always, thereby inflicting further damage on others around us. The antidote to fear is love, that is unconditional love, which will vaporize and transmute all fear-based constructs. In fact, love is the strongest force of healing which there is in this universe.
A message from Uriel
My health got better, slowly but surely over the following weeks. It really took a very long time to heal but I feel that my body had to process many things and this “time out” was a welcome opportunity for transformation. Also, due to my sickness, I was pulled out of the drama playing out in the community. I maintained my neutrality and could see things from a distant third-person viewpoint, instead of being caught up in the middle of battle.
One night, I had a very intense dream and woke up from it. For me, this is a very unusual occurrence, as I mostly don’t remember my dreams. The name “Uriel” appeared very clear and I saw a chessboard in front of me which had reached checkmate. That is, the king is about to fall. Afterward, I saw myself standing in a cloud of dust as if a building has collapsed closeby. I suddenly recognized many people around me who were in panic and confusion. Strangely, I was the only one calm in this situation.
These are very interesting times we’re living in with immense change and upheaval. Many things which appear to be disastrous at first are actually for the greater good. Sometimes, we need to face extremely challenging and painful situations to resolve negative karmic entanglements and sometimes certain structures even need to collapse to be rebuilt on a stronger foundation. It will be an interesting year for sure!